Another Favorite Forward

I dislike forwards, specially the religious forwards, the consequence forwards (categories here).

But there was this one forward that my uncle sent me last year that I loved and rather than 'forwarding' it I posted it on my blog (here).

This one below is i think on the same line as the last link, and this one made me smile, so rather them bombarding your mailbox I am hosting it here. Cheers!

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Dear All,

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009 and continuing it in 2010 also :)

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains and can harm intestines.

* I stopped eating Kurkure and Mentos since they are made of kurkure is made of plastic and mentos may blast in stomach

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE or cheques from Microsoft.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

* I also stopped withdrawing money from ATM machine due to the fear of hidden devices that may capture my card information and empty my bank account.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she’s been 7 since 1993...)

* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million and more. So much trustworthy.

* I have forwarded 35 emails to over 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.

* Made some hundred wishes before forwarding those Angels, Ganesh, Tirupati Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will P on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now... but who knows. So please forward..... Otherwise! !!

As a result of travel

I made 2 trips to India in the past three months. And in both the trips I was stuck surrounded by kids who were being kids (mildly understandable), and parents who were totally not being a parents...letting their kids run like a wild animal, kicking people, waking people and just generally being loud....the usual....what pissed me off was that the parents of these kids either made no discipline their kids, or totally ignored what the kid was doing and slept while other people bore the brunt of the Brat!

So it was interesting that I came across this below write up.....its all in good fun..hopefully someone dosen't take it literally and runs their mouth...

Let me say this again..this is posted as a fun read...if you have objections...just remember I am NOT listening!

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How come everyone today is too much of a pussy to smack their kids around? That's what I want to know: why are parents afraid to beat their kids? When I was a kid and I screwed up, my parents beat my ass. We didn't have a conversation about it. I didn't have a "time out." In fact, I've never even once been grounded in my life. What's the point? Send your kid to his room and make him play video games and read comic books all day? Great idea, why don't you take him to a psychiatrist while you're at it so she can pull some disorder out of her ass to hide the fact that you're a bad parent? 

Kids today need a good beating every now and then. If you don't beat your kids when they fall out of line, the next thing you know your son will go off and bang some dude in the ass just out of spite. You tell them to clean their room, they say "no," you smack them. It's simple; it works. Don't listen to these assholes on TV with their bullshit hippy psycho babble; if they had it their way, every child would be raised in a pastel colored room with Philip Glass pumped through the speakers 24 hours a day. Then again, it might not be all that bad because it will make your kids complacent, so it won't be as hard for them to swallow when they realize that they'll be spending the rest of their lives chained to a desk in a cubicle writing reports to make someone else rich. 

The problem is that kids today think their opinions matter. By not beating your kids, they get a skewed perspective of reality where they start thinking that they have it rough and that they can get away with dying their hair and listening to Insane Clown Posse. That's where you need to come in and put the law down. To help you, the negligent parent, I've put together a guide to smacking your kids for your convenience (hint: you may want to even print this guide up and hang it on your fridge as a reminder to both you and your kids). Here are some useful techniques:

Five across the eyes. This is a very basic maneuver and usually enough to cover most situations when your child is out of line. Simply put four fingers tightly together and either leave the thumb off to the side or fold it behind the other four fingers. Then smack your kid across the face with the back of your hand. Now this is the tricky part: make sure to snap your wrist just before contact otherwise you won't get a stinging effect. Very important because you don't want to risk letting your kid think you're a pussy

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The sucker punch. Just ask the question "hey, what's that on your shirt?" and when they look down, bust their lip. You need to do this every now and then to keep them guessing. Don't ever let them off the hook. Just because they're not doing anything wrong doesn't mean that they didn't do something wrong earlier that you weren't aware of

.

The yard stick. Or for those of you who don't use the arbitrary American system, this is also known as "the meter stick." This is a good general purpose beating because the stick usually doesn't last beyond three or four good whacks--usually enough to send the message

.

The one-two shut-the-hell-up. This is priceless when you're shopping and your kid won't shut the hell up: "I'm hungry, I want toys, I need my Insulin..." etc. First smack your kid (the 5 across the eyes technique works). Wait a few seconds for your kid to start crying, then smack your kid again to let him know that you mean business. This usually shuts them up because they see that the amount of crying is proportional to the amount of beatings

The 2 x 4 / PVC pipe. If you do your job as a parent, this should never have to be administered. This is for heavy duty jobs only (ie. any time your kid comes home and begins a sentence with "she might be pregnant..." or "I can _____ if I want to..." where the blank can be any of the following: smoke, have sex, experiment with drugs, watch Oprah, etc). Usually the threat of this beating is enough to keep your kid from screwing up

The Dragon Kick. If you're interested in a permanent solution to your child giving you lip about washing the dishes, cleaning his or her room or filing your tax return, then the Dragon kick might be the technique for you. I guarantee that you will only have to ask once after the Dragon kick has been administered.

The skull thump. A quick blow usually dealt to the side or back of the head. Simply flick them in the head with your finger. An alternative is to smack your child up side the head with your palm. Very useful for teaching your child to read when he or she makes a mistake. Hitting your child when he or she is learning builds confidence, or undermines confidence--I can't remember which.

The one-handed chauffeur reach around. A quick reach around while you're driving to smack your kid and his friends too if they disrespect. Swerve the car back and forth for the full effect. 

The cane intercept. If you're too old to chase your kid around the house, use the handle of your cane to trip him if he tries to get away. When he gets up, poke him in the head a few times to let him know who's boss.

There you have it. Use these basic techniques to discipline your child if you want him or her to turn out to be a success story like me. Here's how to tell if you've fulfilled your obligations as a parent: 

Remember: never take shit from your kids. You make payments on the house, utilities, their clothes, school, and their food. You own them. If they don't like it, they can move out. If you love your kids, love them enough to beat them so that they don't grow up to be idiots.

 2,245,644 people don't know the difference between discipline and child abuse.


Credit to the site: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat


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Hope you enjoyed reading ... and it was worth a few laughs :)

Cheers

Back to Square one

I started with this layout and after bouncing around I am back to it......oh the joy!

I have been neglecting this blog for a really really long time and I have my reasons...the primary one being I am Lazy :) so now you know.

But I do have a ton of stuff to blog about and hopefully tomorrow morning after getting through a couple of episodes of Dekh Bhai Dekh I will feel like blogging...till then my friends...adios

Happy 2010!!!

Happy New Year to all you wonderful people! May 2010 be filled with good health, Wealth and tons of Joy and happiness....

Cheers!

In a street food state of Mind

It all started in the last Sunday of November when mom, hubby and I went shopping. While mom was busy picking out fresh veggies, hubby and I were scouting the store for puri and murmura :). After dropping mom off (and making promises to eat healthy food) hubby and I headed home, and immediately whipped up some Pani Puri….that fried piece of dough dipped in Jal jeera water is like a little piece of Sunshine….suffice to say that ended up being lunch and dinner :)

Then came my blur of a trip to Mumbai (that is another post altogether), where I was unable to eat any Vada Pav or Pav Bhaji, and was totally disappointed. So naturally the only way to remedy the situation was to make a mouthwatering batch of bhaji, complete with side garnishes of raw onion, Nimbu and Mirchi. Combine that with Garam Pav soaking in Makhan and I was in Pav Bhaji Heaven :)

Then came this weekend, we were completely snowed in and like the rains, when the snow is covering everything and it is cold outside, the heart yearns for some food that will soothe your soul and what better to do that the Pakodas!....and you guessed it, that is exactly what I made, some Onions, some Potatoes and some Paneer pakodas matched up with a steaming cup of Garam Garam ginger tea and I captured another piece of heaven….

With so much sunshine and Heaven going around, I am one happy girl…forget the fact that I am trying to get in shape for the Feb trip…that weight loss can wait….it’s time for some good soul soothing street food :)

Design Dilemma :(

It has been 2 months since hubby and I moved and more or less we have put all the stuff in place except for one Major area…notice the capital M….actually it should be a capital D…..the Drawing room

The room is L shaped……a looooong L…and the lower part of the L is the Dining room …at least that is what we have designated it as. For a better idea I have tried and depict what the apartment looks like right now.



The picture is self explanatory and as far as possible I have kept the colors as close as possible. One thing to note that even if the carpet under the TV, Futon and the rocking chairs looks grey in the picture, it is really like egg shell white.

Now you must wonder why all this trouble of not only drawing the whole thing out, but putting it here..on this blog….the reason is I need help…

Time to admit that I totally sick when it comes to design, styling or anything to do in that world, and hubby made a big blunder by relying on me to make the Apartment a home; hoping that I would have some style…hahahaha BIG MISTAKE!!!!

So now dear dear readers/friends help me out and tell me what can I do with the big empty space from the main door to the futon? I am willing to move the furniture around (except the dining table…there are 2 huge windows and we appreciate the view during dinner and the occasional lunch).

I have no idea what I can do …and I am even willing to buy a couple more pieces of furniture to fill the space, ….help me…pluuuuleeeeezzzzz

I Finished the movie

I am going to make this short and sweet...and yeah it is defefinetly sweet!

So many of you remember the saga of District 9. I was totally aghast to how I reacted to the movie, and in spite of the horrible time I had that day, I was determined to conquer the movie.

And so ladies and gentlemen, let me proudly proclaim, that I have indeed managed to watch the complete movie and was feeling well the whole time! no t sickening feeling in my gut, so fainting spells...nothing; I sat through the movie and actually enjoyed it.

Turns out that the point that I fainted on the first time was the worst part of the movie, after that point the movie grossness goes down..and the movie actually becomes interesting ..in a good way!

So as I promised ...short and Sweet :)

Cheers!

Tagged !!

I was feeling guilty for neglecting my blog (I have damn good reasons for it by the way...but that is a different entry all together).

So when EISI tagged me, it was a perfect timing and entry for me to be back....so here goes

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4.- "I think he's a destructive, unscrupulous ruffian who's been grossly overrated"

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch air? – The cable bill (HUGE!!)

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? – Football!!!! (no foot football lolz)

4. Without looking, guess what time it is? – 8:40 pm

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? – 8:41 pm (Damn i'm good...lolz)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?- S discussing the US Open and the ad for the new Prius

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? – Going to Work :(

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?- EISI's Blog and feeling totally guilty for neglecting my blog!

9. What are you wearing?- my fav Blue Pajama's and a black cami ....comfort my dears

10. When did you last laugh? – at S making a funny face 2 mins back

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in? – Paint :)

12. Seen anything weird lately? – A drag queen in rail conductor's blog (the drag queen wants to be addressed as only Miss Columbia)

13. What do you think of this quiz? Kinda fun!

14. What is the last film you saw? District 9 (you know what happened if not read here)

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?- that's a tough one....but probably a Nissan 350Z and a Bike....rest of the money i'll probably give to S and bro A..to do what they want to with it .... dang i'm boring!

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!- hmmmm lets see.....EISI dosent know where I stay now :)

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?- Equality for women!

18. Do you like to Dance?- Love to Dance!!!! (actually represented my school for many years...and that is another thing you don't know about me)

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?- Krishna

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?- Krishna (what can I say I LOVE the name)

21. Would you ever consider living abroad? – Yes....do away with borders and I will be a nomad

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? – you are here *screams in happiness*...Babe let's PARTY!!!

I am tagging Ava (would love to read her list), WITN , Bedazzled (take a break from chocolate), Mama Mia, Bain-gan Lores, and AEIOU !!

Waiting to read everyone's list ....This was fun!!! time to do another tag soon :)

Cheers!

You make me sick - Wikus Prawn

Whole of last week I read tons of reviews about this one movie 'District 9', how good it was, how well directed it was, good story line etc etc.....overall heard it was a good movie. So that's what I decided I will spend my Friday night on, and S was up for the movie. So off we went, had dinner and strolled in for the 10:00 pm show, all this without reading what the movie was about. That was my first mistake.

We stroll and the movie theater was PACKED, and usually I don't like to sit on the front few rows, but the fact that this was supposed to be a good movie and I really didn't want to come back for the later show, I begged and pleaded to make S agree to sit wherever we found space. And that just turned out to be the 7th row from the front. That was my second mistake.

The last and final mistake I made was that I was not true to myself. I am the kind of person that will cringe at the sight of anything even remotely disgusting, a needle, blood, peeled skin ....I will cringe. In this movie, when the Prawn like aliens showed up with their tentacles all gross looking, I should have done what I do and close my eyes. But no the fool I am, I kept looking and looking and looking....that was my third mistake.

Around 45 minutes into the movie, I started to get queasy, this the point where Wikus the hero (read the story here) gets sprayed with the mystery liquid and starts his transformation into an Alien. The first thing that they show is his fingernails starting to come off, I sat there looking at the big screen, each of his fingernails as big as my face, peeling off, all the blood and the tissue hanging from his naked nail.....even thinking about it makes me want to puke....I should have my gotten up at that point and left..but no !!!!!! trying to be brave and gutsy (and prove to myself that I can watch something that is not a comedy or romantic comedy I sat there)...I sat there; watching District 9....and that my Final and perhaps the biggest mistake.

15 more minutes after Wikus started to pull his nails off, he wandered into the Prawn colony and started to eat cat food, with his fingers, slurping up pieces of meat, a little in his mouth a little on his hands and completely making me sick. Then came the last straw, Wikus's teeth started to fall out, he put a finger full of cat food into his mouth, and when he pulled his finger out, out came a tooth...with its root and blood. But Wikus is just so good, he didn't feel happy that only one tooth came out. He reached in and pulled another one out, blood, slimy stuff....(gag)..that was the last straw....


I didn't want to quit, I wanted to stay, but my body completely gave up, I started to get physically sick and my head started to spin. Poor S noticed and held onto me and took me right out of the theater, and his timing was perfect! As soon as I stepped outside...I blanked out!

Next thing I know S is over my face, sprinkling water...this is a first..a movie made me sick to a point that I fainted. There were two firsts that were achieved as a result of me going to watch this movie....This is the first movie that I went to see and did not sit through till the end and A movie was gross enough to make me faint ...freaking Awesome!!!

The only thing I feel terrible about is S not finishing this movie...Maybe I should buy him and my bro A a pair of tickets...the guys would sure like to see the grossest movie ever!!

Ps: Go see this movie...heard from a lot of people it was good...I am going to try and watch it again....lets see how the second attempt at this goes :)

What really Impresses us - The Secrets

Another C&P from my MS reviews! Hope you enjoy this one :)

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Impressing a woman is seen as a monumental task! Before you say ‘I knew it!’ just remember anything worth having is worth fighting for. So for the male kind, I the Angel am putting out tips, that will help you stay the number one guy in your Gals life!

There are stages to every girls’s life. The Girl is a daughter first, then a sister, then a wife, then a mother, then a mother in law, and then a Grandmother. So to impress a woman, you need to go thru impressing all the stages.

Lets start with the Kiddo Versions

Impressing your new Born baby Girl
This is perhaps one of the easiest stages for you, all you have to do is pick up the bundle of joy, and she is already gurgling her love for her dad. Feed her some mush and she is smiling her toothless smile at her father. Rock her to sleep and you have got all the loyalty you’ll ever crave.

Impressing your Girl Child
The girls in almost all cases (including me) idolize their dad. The dad is the hero, he is the strong one that protects us. He is the one we turn to when we need something. So all you have to do as a dad is be there for your child. An occasional chocolate (yummm), a occasional pretty dress will impress her. But what will impress her the most is when you the dad will sit and talk to her, listen to what happened in school, but most of all, just be there when she needs you….how hard can that be?

Impressing your sister
Yes sir, sisters are the greatest of your allies in this big bad world. Remember the times she sat up all night with you during your exams, made Maggie just the way you like it when you were hungry? Stood up for you in front of your parents, and prevented you from getting a beating? Well show your appreciation for her, buy her flowers, sit and talk to her, but her chocolates, and always be there when she needs her brother.

Now to the Grown up Versions

Impressing your I-Want-her-as-my-Girl-friend.
She makes your heart flutter, at the slightest of an hair flick. She distracts you during lessons, by her just being there. Her braces filled smile is the brightest you have ever seen…ah the joy of love. If only you could impress her right?

The key here is subtlety. Always be yourself, coz you want her to fall in love with the real you. Draw her attention, by going up and making polite conversation with her. Give her a flower, not necessarily a red rose, a orchid, a tulip, any flower will do. Talk to her when she comes up to you, but don’t stalk her just to carry out a conversation. Number one Rule : DO NOT DROOL at her

Impressing your Girl Friend
So she is already your girl friend, right? You have already impressed her enough for her to actually become your girl friend. But dear boy, the work does not end there. Buy her flowers, if she likes them. If your girl friend does not like flowers there is not rule saying you have to buy her those, you could instead take her to a fun evening, which you should be doing anyway. Look out for her when you guys are outside, little things like opening a door, pulling back a chair etc will ensure that she appreciates you and loves you for a long time to come

Now to even more grown up stuff

Impressing your wife
Your wife is someone who you have promised to share a lifetime of happiness with. So impressing her is just a way of keeping that promise. And a good man like you will always keep his promise right?

For the wife, small gestures of love amount to a lot. Help her with the house, the cleaning, the cooking, the laundry etc. Remember those are actually supposed to be shared tasks, but when you cook, or clean, she will be immensely thankful to god for such a wonderful man in her life.

Small gestures aside, never forget to serenade your wife, with flowers, or chocolates, or just surprise her with massages, a candlelight dinner, either home made or in a restaurant. If you have kids, take the responsibility to get their homework done, read a story to them, keep them occupied so that your wife can take some rest. Hey give her a gift to a Spa, let them pamper the queen of your life….Just because she deserves it!

Impressing your Mother
Yes sir, this person is the reason that you are alive in this world. She nurtured you and made to capable to stand in the position you stand today. She always placed your needs first, fed you when you were sick, a single kiss from her, took away the pain of a scrapped knee. You ran home from school, because you knew that she would be waiting with a big smile on the face just for you. How do you impress a woman who has undoubtedly dedicated her life to you?

Its simple, all you have to do is take care of her when she needs you. Take the time to ask her, how the day was, listen to her when she gives you advice. Ensure your kids spend time with her. Buy her flowers, take her out with the family, when making plans to do something major, involve her. But as always most importantly be there when she needs her son.

Impressing your Mother-in Law
Contrary to belief this is not as hard as people make it out to be. All you have to do is show respect to your mom-in-law as you would to your mother, and then make sure you treat her daughter right!

Impressing you Grandmother
Hey! This has to be the easiest person to impress. I mean how hard is it to impress a person, who is floored by you the minute you were born. All you have to do is look at her and smile and her soft as butter heart will melt. None the less, your brownie points will only increase if you just pay attention to your grandma and heed to her words that you will eventually realized are heavy with the wisdom that only comes with age.

So you see, it does not take much to impress a woman , all you have to do is be thoughtful and considerate, and really how hard can that be? So on that note, I end this review

Dedicated to all the wonderful men in my life, My ‘world’s best’ Dad, My ‘Cutest n Sweetest’ Brother and now my ‘God sent Blessing’ Cowboy.

Cheers!

Ps: To all the Women out there...anything you might want to add?
To all the Men out there.....any secrets you have to impressing your women?

Bernie's Survivors and the SEC

As stated in my last post, I am a news junkie and sure enough today while watching the news (yup...I read plus I watch...and yeah I also listen to public radio news :)..its an addiction)...back to my point...while watching the news about Bernie Madoff's sentencing (he got 150 years in jail for running a $65b billion Ponzi scheme) they were interviewing the supposed 'Survivors' ('Victims' for the sane). Apparently these people are angry with the government and SEC. They are asking how come the SEC did not regulate Bernie Madoff's Hedge fund and are asking for answers.

So here is what I think about them...I do feel bad for them, at least those people who had no idea where their money was going, but for those who invested in Bernie's scheme expecting a 20% return, I have no sympathy.....its simple..no straightforward financial plan is going to give you a 20% return......they were greedy and they lost...and now they should just deal with it

As for government control, these are the same people who are the first ones to cry foul when the government is trying to regulate the financial industry....these fear mongers call it socialism and government interference. They don't want the government to regulate anything, they want the forces of capitalism to work their charm..everyone is happy and skipping around like a drunken monkey till the cash is rolling in....

But as soon as they fall victim to their own greed, they want the government to be responsible for the failures and hand out bail out money to them!

What is next? eat tons junk food and make BIG boo boo and when they are unable to clean themselves off very well...blame the government for not regulating their food and wiping their ass**s clean??....Idiots!

MIA ..... a long due blog entry

Sorry guys for being MIA, life is kinda Topsy Turvy...not complaining, just stating the facts. Anyhow, let me state all the things that have been going on ...

First of all my work for the past 3 weeks was crazy busy! Some days were so busy I had no time to freaking go P**...forgive my french :)

I was running to the restroom and back..I mean I was so fast that I could have tried out for the Olympics...but the reality hit me one time...rather I hit reality really hard...for those who haven't guessed yet, I fell...hit the floor face first and thus lost two things; the Olympic dream and my dignity :)...plus here is the kicker I was late for the meeting, which was the reason I was running in the first place!

Then came the great news last Friday that the whole department (in which i am working) is getting shut down, so back to square one!. Super Sucky situation and in response I have been super pissed :) just coz I have no intention of sitting at home and put on anymore weight...at least in the pretext of going to work I was getting some exercise...and yeah for some freaking crazy reason for two years I did not put an ounce and in two months BAM 5 freaking kilos...what the hell!! but then that is a mystery I am still trying to solve.

In response to my weight and S's need for something fun to do, we went and bought a table tennis set (2 bats, 3 tt balls and a net) and converted our dinning table into a tt table...Super cool!!....we are still in the fun and games kinda spirit. Apparently I sulk when I start to loose and therefore we don't play for points....we just see how many times a person misses the table......and yes I am winning that count :) .. thank you very much!

And just following the news, with all these people kicking the bucket there was a ton to read about. Not that I was interested in any of their lives when they were alive, but hey I felt bad when they died and read a lot of news about them...in any case I am a news geek, gotta get my dosage of daily news....the only difference is that I read a lot more news than normal and therefore no time for anything else.

Anyway looks I am going to have a lot more time on my hands...hopefully I will catch up on the reading of everyone's blog entries.

In any case if any of you want to find me a job..here is what I want. Ideally I would like to be paid to travel and eat.....but that might a difficult position to track down... so if that is not possible, then I would like be one of the voices in a cartoon show, hopefully something like the Family Guy...My voice is High pitched, nasal and I can be super whiny.... in short perfect for a cartoon ( I can so be Meg!)

So there you go, you have a good Idea what I am looking for...go forth and bring me results!!

Cheers!

Ps: EISI..this is the entry I was working on :) its out at last! yay!

Love the beginning!

Happy First Sweetheart!

Love how this journey has begun!

Love you

Happy 30th Mom and Dad

Love you tons!

Exceptions to the Rule are Few!

As much as I loved the last forward I got, (and I shared it) I am not a big fan of Forwards at all. Only once a while do I actually read something that I like.....

Here I share an old post from MS.....with the help of my friends C&P!...Hope u like this one :)

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Email…ah THE life line, I would be so lost without it. Its my link to my loved-family, my oh-my-god-why family, my loved-friends, my why-do-you-bother friends, my Boss, my co-workers and sometimes a connection to myself….come on…don’t pretend…haven’t you mailed yourself??? Even to send an attachment??? Never?? Ok now I am ashamed :)

With the life line comes a major thorn .....forwards they are like the small enough glass particle, that gets into your skin but doesn’t completely kill you…it just stays there till you evict it.

For me forwards are just like that, not all but MOST of them. Now I will not go into what forwards are ….coz if YOU DON’T KNOW THAT…please quit reading…and send me your email address…and I promise to send you the forward that WILL KILL YOU if you don’t forward it….!

There are various types of forwards….and I will take the trouble of Listing them…for your Pain..I mean your Pleasure!

Types of Forward

The HA HA Forward

These are text jokes, or pictures, or Pictures with Text ..you get the idea. Some of these jokes are of the ‘even-a-3rd-standard-kid w-wont-laugh-at-this’ Category! ….say like a Santa Banta jokes :

Santa (at the ticket counter) : Hi can I get one ticket to the Punjab Mail and one to the Punjab Female?
Clerk: What???
Santa: Yeah my wife also wants to travel !

(you are not allowed to beat me for this! :))

Remedy: I usually DELETE this email…..at the first chance I get….but now before sending an even more BORING joke and/or a mail threatening the sender (who in this case could be a friend…..or soon to be EX-friend).

The SCARE Forward

You will recognize these, by their very non-non-threatening, message that reads, that So-and So (usually MSN , or Google…oh and most recently ORKUT.) is checking for active users. And you will get deleted if you don’t forward this to all the members in your address book.

Remedy: DELETE…though it does seem that these organizations, HAVE to use this kind of email to check if you are active, you logging in a 100 times a day apparently does not tell them that…Blah!!!


The INCREASE/BOOST forward

You know what I am talking about ….Increase you *Cough* for the guys and *Different Cough* for the girls, boost your S*ex life …blah blah blah…OH really!...can it happen…can some one vouch for that…What a loa*d of BHAISE GOBBAR!....

What gets even more disturbing is why are they sending me forwards to increase my *Cough* that is supposed to be meant for the MANLY man kind???? Is this some Kind of message….or is it some joke?

Remedy: DELETE….or I would consider forwarding it to people who I particularly don’t like….Hey don’t look at me like that….I am just trying to INCREASE and BOOST their Confidence ;) ;)


The CONSEQUENCES forward

You know the one with the Religious overtones……A picture of a god, a prayer..etc…and after the initial goody feeling that the email projects…it takes you Immediately to the DIRE consequences section.

If you don’t forward this…with a long list of Consequences:

Your Cat will turn vegetarian
You will not be invited to the Martian Party
Your dog will stop Licking his *Gullis*
You will not be able to PEE for 2000 years
Your 215th hair will turn Green

And the most famous one of all

You will not find your TRUE LOVE!

Hello….he is already DEAD!...I killed him…for sending me this forward!....

Remedy: Do I have to repeat this again?? Ok here goes DELETE…..So far, I have not died, my True love hasn’t left me (read above why!), I don’t own a cat…and Dogs will always be dogs…Licking is a part of their existence…sorry even you can't meddle with that!

So that’s that the High and low of the Forwards!...Hope you enjoy it

Oh wait what is this???? Nice…Another forward..!!!

This is the 1500th forward that I have received, which lets me know in oh-so-polite a manner, that unless I forward this mail to a 100,000 people in the next 5 seconds, that my Mother’s Mom’s only Daughter’s only Daughter, will die in the next seven days.

Oh well……For those who have know me for so this long ........

GOODBYE! , just incase I don’t see you again!

Still Waiting!!

This one sent by my uncle...I found it totally awesome! thought would pass this one on..:)

BLOOD ~ the Sweet Sinister ~ BLOOD

Red and thick it flows between the wheels, continuing to coat everything around, the handle, the levers, only to find its way to the floor; a bright red steady stream against the brown wood. Seeping into the drainage, coloring the underground system red; it finds its way to the open seas…..the blood has coated and colored them all!!!!

This ladies and gentlemen is how the movie opens. So open your eyes, train your ears and strap yourself down for a bloody journey ahead.

First the basics

Movie : Sweeney Todd
Director: Tim Burton

Actors: (ref.– IMDB)

Johnny Depp : Sweeney Todd
Helena Bonham Carter : Mrs. Lovett
Alan Rickman : Judge Turpin
Timothy Spall : Beadle Bamford
Sacha Baron Cohen : Signor Adolfo Pirelli

Story:

After serving a prison sentence for a crime he did not commit, Sweeney Todd a.k.a Benjamin Barker sails up to London. Opening with a brilliant rendition of ‘No Place Like London’ he sets foot into the city, with an intention of finding his beautiful wife and his then infant daughter. On arrival he meets with Mrs. Lovett, in her aptly doomed meat pie shop, who tells Mr. Todd of the tragic death of his wife thru the doing of the lecherous Judge Turpin, who is now holding Todd’s daughter Joanne as his ward, who she adds he is planning to marry.

Todd fueled by rage and a desire for revenge sets up his barber shop above Mrs. Lovett’s Pie shop. Staring with Signor Adolfo Pirelli, a self proclaimed barber and a flamboyant Con Artist, who he defeated in a public display of skills to regain his reputation, and then kills but slitting his throat dramatically in a spray of blood, Sweeney Todd begins his murderous journey thru all who sit in his chair to get to Judge Tupin.

What follows in scene after scene of slit throats and bodies being ground into pie stuffing, which bring Mrs Lovett’s business back roaring in full glory, thanks to the delicious MEAT pies, that all of London Craves.

Throw in Anthony a very good looking sailor and his love for young Joanne, the ever so wicked judge Tupin and his ever scheming Beadle Bamford and ofcourse the Beggar lady who senses ‘London Burning’ and you have the most fantastic murderous tale staring you in the face.

My Take:

It is by now well known that though Sweeney Todd is a musical, and the main leads were not singers per se. But the brilliance in the movie at least according to me is Depp, he blurs the lines between singing and acting so much so that the audience is not aware of his inadequacies as a singer from the very first note he hits.

Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs Lovett is a perfect companion to Depp’s Todd. The rest of the cast also compliment the Main characters and together they deliver a Oscar worthy movie…that’s right…you heard me!

I was going to take my parents for this movie, unknowing of the contents, but I am so glad they stayed home. No matter how many times throats get slit and the human flesh gets ground, the audience is aghast every time as if it were the first.

The brilliance of the movie lies in the blood, the thick dark, all engulfing blood… I would ruin it for you if I would tell you all the details and how the movie ends, so I will refrain. But I must warn you, this movie is not meant for the faint hearted and if you are one you would be well advised to steer clear, but then again its ok if you have to put yourself thru this movie…Its so worth it…I vouch as perhaps the most faint hearted person among all I have known, that this movie is one of the very very very few that you should sit thru.

After all the gasps and the shrieks, and checking to see of there is any blood on the floor, the audience is guaranteed to exit with a broader appreciation for the perfection of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

All in all this is thrill, emotion, Humor , Murder and Gore in all their glory….NOT TO BE MISSED!!!

Cheers

PS : My Take was going to be just one word DEPP *sigh*.....I mean girls..do I have to elaborate? I did not think so ..but for the guys sake I did :) .

Note: I saw this movie over the weekend...and therefore the repeat (C&P) posting!

MS - My Ode to Coffee

Starting off the efforts of my friends (C&P) by bringing to my space one of my fav reviews....It was written a while back and while the situation is not relevant...the emotion behind the review sure is!

Here goes...


Sorry people I went into hibernation for the past 4 weeks due to the fact that I did not have access to the comp for a really long time. But I have woken up and hey guess what woke me up, come on you know by now, you read the topic of this review didn’t you??? Coffee of course !!!!!!!! This review is more of what coffee means to me and none of what Brooke Bond is!!! hehehehehehehe.

Let me start of by explaining my whole waking up process. I was asleep ( had to be!!!! I have to wake up right?) well, I distinctly remember dreaming of chocolate cake, basically caffeine, right. Well, as my dream got more and more dreamy, I remember wanting coffee(even in my dream amazing what addiction does to you.). Just then the smell of coffee extended its hand and just like in the cartoons wafted through my nose, ahhhhh!!! the heavenly smell, its like a deep fog of pure pleasure filling up your lungs.

This was the cue my body needed. I jumped and ran from my bedroom to my kitchen just to be able to glance at the source of the smell, I had to see for myself the coffee brewing, knowing very well that all I had to do was freshen up, and then my mouth will experience sheer ecstasy that comes with just one sip of the god send drink.

I was right I did see the coffee brewing, yes!!!, but I also was my mom standing there with a big grin on her face. Something was not right, DAMN then I remembered; the bet how could I have forgotten????? Well filling you in, my mom had asked me to get up early that day to go to the temple, and me being me, lazy as ever had protested, and said that I could not get up at 6:00am, that was ridiculous..... My mom had then said that she knew how to wake me up, and I has dared her, that nothing in this world could wake me up, at least nothing she could do.

Apparently I was wrong. Boy I should have known that she has a secret arsenal, she obviously exploited my feelings by using my addiction to coffee to wake me up, not only that I now owe her One week of waking up early just for the sake of it, and that is because me loudmouth dared her the night before that if she could wake me up, I will myself get up for a week as early as she wants me to.

Well back to my morning, I glanced back at the watch it was only 5:30am!!!!!!!!!!!. I cannot believe mom deprived me of my 30 minutes of sleep. Cannot blame coffee for waking me up, it cannot help but be the elixir of life, tell me can you blame the rose for being beautiful? No right? In the same way you cannot blame the coffee for being itself.

The morning story ends with me going to the temple and all and a whole week of misery. But I am not complaining. It is alas a small price to pay for my mug(s) of freshly brewed coffee.

Imagine if you may, the first sip, as your lips touch the rim of the coffee mug, and you are tilting the mug towards you, your body in anticipation of the coffee almost goes mad. Then as coffee enters your mouth, the latter is filled with a deep dark full taste that is like no other, you close your eyes and savor every drop in every nook and corner of your mouth. When you swallow the coffee you feel it burning through your food pipe (its hot, who the hell has the patience to cool the coffee and then drink it?) the cool burning sensation, this is what you have been waiting all night. As it enters your system, it awakens all your senses, your mind is on full alert, energy is surging through your body, and you are ready to face the day ahead. Oh heavenly coffee I owe you so much!!!!!!!!

I drink 9-10 glasses of coffee a day, and yes I do admit it I am an addict, but this is one addiction I am not ready to forgo. People all the time have something to say to me about how bad coffee is. That I should stop drinking coffee and blah blah blah. STOP DRINKING WHAT??????? No way, you cannot pry that mug of coffee from my dead hands, I will sacrifice my life for the noble coffee (haven’t you read all that it does for us?). I need the elixir of life, It doesn’t matter that I need 10 glasses of it, it is a part of me, I cannot give it up. Coffee has been giving its life and soul for humanity for ages and if I am required to make a sacrifice, and drink it all the time, then that is what I will do!! As a matter of fact that is what I am off to do now. If you have a heart and a faint love for humanity, go drink coffee, give coffee back what coffee gives to you!!.

Lots of Love and Coffee, I mean peace

Copy and Paste - My friends

Meet Copy and Paste...they are good buddies to me. Now they have agreed to work efficiently and tirelessly to bring over all my work from one particular website to my blog :)

So ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together in appreciation for Copy and Paste my buddies....for all the work they are going to do (and all the work I won't HAVE to do)

Cheers!

By self; Birthday and Bling!!

Last week was a week I will not forget for a long long time! Let me start from the beginning...

S decided to go visit India and mom decided that she would go too. And being that the other two men in my family were also in other parts of the country, I was all alone. For the first time in almost 10 years, I was in my house all by myself, left to enjoy my own company (Oh Boy!) It was more fun than I thought it would be, I came home every evening after work and just chilled! no cooking, no talking, no nothing; just sit myself on the couch with a warm cup of coffee and enjoy the silence...Bliss!

Then of course later in the evening I would get to see S and mom....thank god for Skype!!!!..(or the software programmers :))

Well, but at the end of the week I was so ready for some company! and at the right time guess who shows up? S...yipee!! so yesterday he comes back, and may I add just in time for my birthday! That was the best present ever! and on top of that he arranged for a cake ...I tell you this man sweeps me off my feet !! *swoon*

Now S is not the romantic type, at least that is what I claimed for sometime, but with the first engageversary surprise, the Valentine flowers he bought for me (and he also bought a bouquet for mom on behalf of my dad...*awww*)and now him showing up for my Birthday, it is getting more and more difficult for me to call him unromantic.

And on top of that he actually bought me a pretty pair of earrings with a little diamond in each as my present! and he picked them out too! Plus the only piece of jewelry I bought for my self (my wedding ring) came from India!...and so I am now all Bling Bling :)

So now ladies and gentlemen, I have enjoyed my time By my self, got to celebrate my Birthday with my sweetheart and now I am all binged out!

Life is freaking cool!!

Cheers!!!