Saturday, March 20, 2010

Another Favorite Forward

I dislike forwards, specially the religious forwards, the consequence forwards (categories here).

But there was this one forward that my uncle sent me last year that I loved and rather than 'forwarding' it I posted it on my blog (here).

This one below is i think on the same line as the last link, and this one made me smile, so rather them bombarding your mailbox I am hosting it here. Cheers!

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Dear All,

I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009 and continuing it in 2010 also :)

Because of your kindness:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains and can harm intestines.

* I stopped eating Kurkure and Mentos since they are made of kurkure is made of plastic and mentos may blast in stomach

* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE or cheques from Microsoft.

* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...

* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.

* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.

* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.

* I also stopped withdrawing money from ATM machine due to the fear of hidden devices that may capture my card information and empty my bank account.

* When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she’s been 7 since 1993...)

* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million and more. So much trustworthy.

* I have forwarded 35 emails to over 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.

* Made some hundred wishes before forwarding those Angels, Ganesh, Tirupati Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will P on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now... but who knows. So please forward..... Otherwise! !!

3 comments:

WhatsInAName said...

Lol! I have read this earlier but read it again and had a hearty laugh.
Just 2 days back I got another fwd of Shirdi Sai or something. I deleted the mail without reading!

Btw you had written a post in MS on fwds right?

indianhomemaker said...

LOL this is really funny :) I too am a 'my dearest' of many in Nigeria too, who would like to transfer their wealth to me :)

I very rarely forward any mails and never if there are any threats included (forward or else..!!) :)

Andrea said...

You got a humorous post here but most of them are just rumours like the Kurkure one.
There is no plastic in Kurkure. How can Kurkure contain plastic when it is made from edible ingredients that we use in our daily kitchen including rice meal, corn meal, gram meal, salt, spices, condiments, etc. Kurkure burns because of the presence of corn starch and not because of any plastic. Try burning golgappas, matharees, etc; they all burn the same way. Does that mean even they contain plastic.
I don't think AIIMS has sent out this message as this is just a rumour spreading about. Just adding someone's name does not make it authentic.
Check out http://www.kurkure.co.in/FAQ.aspx for more info.